Are You the Office Party Animal?

A parody on "must-have" office handbooks, CUBE MONKEYS: A Handbook for Surviving the Office Jungle by The Editors of CareerBuilder.com and Second City Communications (Collins; September 2007; ISBN 13: 0061350400) offers laugh-out-loud advice on how to make it through the workday. Full of irreverent humor from Second City Communications, the corporate division of the world renowned comedy theatre The Second City, CUBE MONKEYS features top-ten lists, quizzes, step-by-step guides, games, and hilarious advice that will help make the longest 40 hours of the week seem a little less unbearable. A glimpse of the humor found in the book:

Were you the kind of college student who drank to excess every night and could always be counted on to do something wild and outrageous? Most of us stopped partying till dawn when we entered the workplace, but some people -- hint, hint -- don't realize that having perpetually puffy and bloodshot eyes isn't quite as cute at 36 as it was at 24. Take the following quiz to find out if you share any traits with the Office Party Animal.

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1. Your cubicle a. Is always neat and tidy. b. Has a certain homey charm. c. Has been moved to the strip club down the street. 2. You prepare for the annual office Christmas party a. A few days in advance. b. A few weeks in advance. c. In June. 3. How do you take your coffee? a. With just a hint of cream. b. With a few packets of sugar. c. With gin. 4. Your fellow employees enjoy carpooling with you because a. You always pay for gas. b. You make friendly chitchat. c. It invariably results in a spontaneous road trip to Tijuana. 5. You greet new clients a. With polite professionalism. b. As a future friend and colleague. c. By handing them a business card that reads:"Sleeping through my job since 1995." 6. Your 401(k) a. Is your retirement fund. b. Is being saved for your kids' education. c. Has already been used for keg money. 7. Lunchtime is the right time for a. Getting extra work done. b. Returning all of your unanswered e-mail. c. Doing beer bongs in the bathroom. 8. Your weekend begins a. Saturday morning. b. Friday at 5 P.M. c. Sunday at midnight. 9. When ordering office supplies, you never forget a. Extra pens. b. Refill paper for your daily planner. vc. Visine. 10. Your last birthday a. Was a sober yet festive affair. b. Was celebrated with a few friends from the office. c. Was the sole reason parties are no longer allowed on company property. SCORING: Give yourself one point for each question you answered a, two points for each answered b, and three points for each answered c. 5-7 points: The good news is you're not a party animal. The bad news is you're also insufferably dull. 8-11 points: You might drink a few too many cocktails at the office Christmas party, but it's unlikely that you'll regret any of your behavior the next day. 12-15 points: Party on, drunkie! There's a reason you've renamed the conference room "Margaritaville."